16 things Canadians are thankful for that Americans just...

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  16 things Canadians are thankful for that Americans just don’t understand

Michael Hiscock

Another Thanksgiving in the Great White North and so much to be grateful for (free healthcare and Timbits, for starters). Don’t get us wrong, we love our Yankee neighbours, but our two nations are rife with differences, and a lot of them are worth celebrating. Here are just a few of the uniquely Canadian things we’re thankful for this year that Americans just don’t seem to understand.
1. The word “sorry”
“Sorry” is an endlessly useful word that allows us Canadians to insult someone while still sounding polite. Observe: “Sorry we’re so awesome.” “Sorry our comedians are so funny.” “Sorry we always dominate in hockey.”
2. The letter U
We’re so glad “favour” is spelled with a U. The same goes for “neighbour,” “colour,” “humour” and “labour.” They’d look so naked without it.
3. Bagged milk
Babies drink their milk out of bottles, which is why we BAG IT UP.
4. Ketchup chips
Do you like ketchup on french fries? Thought so. ‘Nuff said.
5. While we’re at it, all-dressed chips, too
Who knew barbecue sauce, sour cream, onion, salt, vinegar and ketchup could come together to make something so beautiful? Oh, that’s right, we did. (Enjoy them while you can, America.)
5. Kinder Surprise
Surprise: They’re illegal in the US of A. Instead, they’ve got the Choco Treasure, which, we’re sorry, is no Kinder Surprise. (Nice try, though.)
6. Actual gun control
Americans also have a lot of things we Canadians don’t. You know, like Hulu and the constitutional right to bear arms. They also boast the highest gun-ownership rate in the world and the highest per capita rate of gun-related murders. All yours, Obama!
7. Maternity leave
How do American moms do it? HOW, we ask you?!
8. The metric system
It just makes sense, people. metric-imperial-josh-bazell-wild-thing-quote
9. Reasonable(ish) tuition rates
You know what would really suck? Having to pay, on average, $21,000/year for undergrad. In Canada, university tuition is about $6,100, and we’re eternally grateful.
10. Regulated banks
Between the recession, sequester and fiscal cliff, the US economic system always seems to be on the brink of disaster. Meanwhile, the World Economic Forum’s annual Global Competitiveness Report recently deemed Canadian banks the world’s most sound for the eighth year in a row. (The US came in 39th.)
11. Colourful, maple-scented money
What’s better than a stack of 100s? $100 bills that smell like delicious maple syrup. (We don’t care what the Bank of Canada says, they totally do.)
12. Two official languages
Because swearing in French is somehow that much more satisfying.
13. Poutine
Fries, cheese curds, gravy—is there anything better? If you said “Cheez Whiz-covered freedom fries,” you’d be wrong. Sorry.
14. Peameal bacon
Or, as the Americans call it, “Canadian bacon.” What would life be without it? (But please try to keep quiet about this one, they still think it’s just regular ham.)
15. The Caesar
You know, Bloody Mary’s better-looking, more sophisticated, older brother? Give thanks, and drink accordingly. Cheers!
16. Canadian Thanksgiving
After all, we started it, folks: Canada celebrated the first Thanksgiving in 1578, almost 50 years before America’s precious pilgrims rang in their harvest.
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